MY UNTOLD STORY

Hollywood movies, Nollywood movies and Bollywood movies hide certain truths from us. Especially when it comes to love and it's substance. Have you been fooled by the fairytales you see? How Ada, the poor little girl gets married to a prince with little or no troubles at all? Or how Krishna is arranged to marry Raj and eventually they fall in love? Or how Taylor falls in love with Alex after they must have fought all the time?

Well, let's read Simi's story and hear her thoughts on relationship. And I would be glad if you share your thoughts in the comment section below❤️

"Relationships are so untrue. I mean how can one find perfection and true love in a relationship. Well, I am so unlucky in relationships and here is why. My name is Simi and this is my story...

It all started in 2018. I got talking with a senior colleague of mine in school. His name is Dayo. Our bond grew from just being friends to something more deeper. He approached me one day and told me that he wants to be my close friend. He said he really likes my kind of person and wants us to grow our bond and friendship together. Without hesitation, I gave Dayo a yes as an answer. Little did I know that his motive was to get me to bed with him. 

As our relationship grew, days, weeks and months passed and he noticed I wasn't ready to be sexually intimated with him as he thought. Although our love grew deeper each passing day, Dayo threatened to live me if I didn't give in to him. One day, I summoned up courage and agreed. This went on for quite some time then I said to myself that I was going to put a stop to this. 

Little did I know that as people's faces are different so are their problems. I started noticing some abnormal urinalysis almost more often than usual. Unknown to my parents, I secretly started self medication and no one knew what I was going through. This continued for a while until my mum discovered I was fighting an infection.  

Now listen to me. Dayo left me without a word or anything to hold on to. My parents took the responsibility of everything about my health. I took five different tests in five different hospitals. As all these were going on, I told myself that it was my fate to suffer. I mean, see the damage I got myself into because of the fear of losing a friend. This led to me battling UTI(Urinary Tract Infection) for close to a year. It got worse as I grew a mould inside my body. I was so devasted. No amount of tear would restore my previous life back to me. I even had to go for X-ray examination to find out the problem. It was futile as nothing was there. But I was still in pains.

Then a day came that my mom sat me down to speak to me. She began softly, "Simisola, have you seen the damage you have brought upon yourself? Your friend, who caused this, is there living life not thinking about you. But who bears the pain? You, of course!" At that moment, I took a decision not to ever indulge in anything that will tarnish my reputation and to my health. We finally broke up and went our separate ways. This happened some weeks after my birthday in the year 2019.

In December 2019, I met Fred. I thought we could just be friends with no strings attached. I discovered later that he actually wanted a taste of me. Before I met Fred, I had confided on a good friend of mine about him and she said he was a nice guy. When we finally met, I can remember we only cuddled, pecked and held hands together. We even had intimate discussions on several issues. 

In one of our chats, he said that this relationship was not going to last i.e. if there will even be any. It sounds funny, right? I mean a break up before a date. Wow! So unlucky! He ended our friendship with the words that he was still in love with his ex. I was so embarrassed and felt really terrible. That evening, I didn't know what to do. So I ended up crying my eyes out in my room as a form consolation. 

I decided not to go into any relationship for the mean time. I mean, I need to work on myself, right? Also have develop my relationship with God and get concentrate on my books again. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted my sanity back in check and pursue my dreams wholeheartedly since it seemed nothing was working for me.

*  *  *  *

The new year came. January 2020. I was at a conference where I met Carson. He was friendly. So, we got talking and exchanged numbers. We became close but just as friends. Two months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I gave him NO! But he kept insisting. He said it would bring us closer to each other. He told me that he strongly believed in my dreams and he was ready to give me all the support I need. I finally accepted to be his girl stating that we will not be sexually intimated. I realized later this was the worst thing I had done. Becoming his girlfriend! Carson noticed I was serious about the sex aspect and began to neglect me. He showed no care for me. But all along, I wasn't aware that sex was all he wanted. I showed him so much care just the way any young girl with good upbringing would. 

Then, a day came that he fell sick. His ill health was as a result of the weather. So, I went to see him in the hospital. I checked up on him and ensured I didn't complain about anything as I had a lot on my mind. As soon as he recovered, he stated that we needed a break. He confessed to me that he has a 3year old child somewhere. I was in complete shock. So, we broke up. Yes, the love of my life, the one I thought was meant for me, broke up with me! And it still hurts.

 

This life has taught me lessons. One important one was this: Whatever had happened, had to happen so that we can learn from it. I have learnt my mistakes. It's true that I help people get over things like this. I even give them courage but then what happens to me? I am human too. I need the encouragement and assurance too. 

But well, I guess I have made my choice. I do not want to be in a relationship with any man anymore. I'm done. I'm totally fed up. This thing called relationship is not for me.

So, I will just stay on my own."

"P.S. Do not judge me!💔

Is this story relatable? Have you ever been in Simi's shoes? Do you think relationships sucks? 

Do share your thoughts in the comment section.😊

Thank you.

With Love, Adaora❤️

My Top 20 Lockdown Tips (Part 2)

Hey friends. How are you doing? Is the Lockdown still on or it has been released in your state/country? Well, we all hope it releases soon. 

By the way, how has the previous lockdown tips I shared helped you? I would really love to know. Was it helpful or difficult to achieve. Let me know in the comment section.

Today, I will be dropping the last part of my favorite lockdown tips. Here it goes:

1) Too many talks ain't necessary: "Too many talks? I don't get." In my last post, I talked about no time to waste. This is it. Are you the kind of person who likes to talk and just keep talking about all the plans you have for yourself and your future or the next you plan to do, this is not really necessary. You end up making plans and never do them. Every single day, you wake up and begin to say, "I will do this... I will do that." Aren't you tired of the stagnancy? Don't you want to move? Stop making plans if you don't want to move. You are only wasting your time and aging everyday. Be a doer and not a talker. Action speaks louder than voice, remember? So what are you waiting for? Suspend that talk for now, let's get into action. We ain't got time for talks😅

2) Mind your Business: This is one of the crucial tips we all need. You tend to forget or ignore what you are supposed to do and end up sitting and listening to issues or gists of your neighbors. You even begin to point their own mistakes and forget you got yours too. You see your friends doing exceedingly well, you cringe and become bitter. You gossip about their lives and how they live. You are not okay unless you talk about Dara who got pregnant after a rape incident or Dare who got a job as a gateman while your dodo is burning. You had better go turn them. We are no longer in the time where all you do is sit and talk about people's lives all day long. The people you are talking about are moving and you are just stagnant. Come off it and keep shut. Start drinking water and minding your business so that your life can become a good gossip in the mouths of others😄 All I am trying to say is quit the bad habit and begin to work on your own yourself.

3) Your Mental Health Matters: Are you in deep thoughts about an issue which causes you to worry? Have you experienced anything bad that has changed your paradigm and caused you to live in fear? Hey, I'm here. Take a deep breath and quit the thoughts and fear. You are only affecting your mental state and it is no good for your health. What you let into your mind, takes a greater part of your well-being. So "guide your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life." Now, in the aforementioned Bible verse, let's replace the heart with the mind. "guide your mind with all diligence.." for it controls the issues of life. I have rephrased it to suit this talk. Your mind should simply be taken care of the same way you would take care of your body. Take a walk in the park, dance under the rain, visit a friend, read a book, watch a movie, go the the eatery and so much more. These things help in building the mind. So, try not to worry about anything, okay?😘

4) Add value: This controls so many aspects of life. But I would be looking at the aspect of money making. Everyday, we are all bent on making money, by all means. We want to handle a task or a do a job all for the money. We forget to add value to that organization or task we are to do. 

Now let's pause, what does it mean to add value?

Value is the quality that renders something desirable or valuable. The quality here could be positive or negative. We will look at the positive value. When you are told to handle a task, try to put your whole into it. Ensure you overpromise and overdeliver. Give our your best. I am not saying you should not go for your money. But the moment your value is more than the money itself, your clients are ready to pay more. Desire to change lives and mindsets with your value and gifts, money will surely follow.🔥🔥 

5) Love surpasses all: This period, there are a lot of things to cause hates and quarrels. Relationships broken and damaged, friends turn enemies and more. But take a deep breath and show some love. 

Let's ignore the aspect of relationship, hatred and all. We have a bigger task at hand. Most families lack what to eat, drink, wear and more. Have you helped someone today? Get up. You have something you could give them. No matter how small, it will mean a whole lot to them. When trying to show them some love, don't embarrass them before doing so. If you fond of announcing to everyone about how you helped someone, you are only being a hypocrite and making them (the people you helped) feel bad. Don't let your left hand know what you right hand gives out. Show love selflessly. That is what it is all about.❤️

6) Journaling: Do you have a journal? Do you write down and keep records of things? A journal is a book you use to record daily or weekly activities of your life. Do you have one? You don't? Why? You should have! A journal helps you remember a lot of things and makes you smile or laugh when you go back to them. It could be an exercise journal, gratitude journal, diary, date journal, art journal...just name it. Keeping a journal is healthy and fun. It makes activities for you easy and creative. I've got a bunch of journals for so many things: quotes, to-do list, poetry, stories, e.t.c And I would say that when I go back to most of them, it puts a smile on my face and reminds me of how great I am. So, why not try some journaling today? You would love it, I bet!😏😘

7) Be grateful: Have you said a word of thanks today? Are you thankful or grateful about something or someone today? Or are you busy grumbling and complaining? Hey, take a chill pill and drink some water. Your life is enough reason to be grateful. Be thankful to God for that. Your friend just got a job and you didn't, be grateful. Your paycheck is not as large as your colleague's own but you get paid, be grateful. There are a million and one things to be grateful for. You just have to sit and think about them. Count your blessings and begin to show gratitude. Gratitude will shift you to a higher frequency and you will attract better things. Gratitude helps you to grow and expand. It causes you to dwell in happiness and peace and that is the greatest gift one can have. So, be grateful today! It is necessary for you.🤲

8) Be happy: Are you worried about something or are you scared about something? Are you sad about the loss of someone or did you you just lose a job? It is sad and I know. Many a times, we are told to put on a smile on our faces and forget all of our worries. It is difficult, right? Now let's take a deep look into your life. Can you remember that time when you graduated from primary school and some of your friends died along the way? You got into secondary school and this same thing happened, yet you survived? It's the exact same thing in the University and you are here today hale and hearty? Even if you didn't get it your desired destination, is this not enough reason to be happy and grateful too? Happiness can not be bought with any amount of money. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. So why not be happy? You should choose for yourself whether you should remain in worry and sadness or get up and begin to smile like you won a lottery😅 You choose.

9) Take care of yourself: This is very important. Have you had a good meal today? Have you had a bath today? Are you moved by how the Regina Daniel's skin glitters and yours doesn't? Are you worried about how Diana Eneje eats good meals and you only have Garri and sugar to eat? Forget them. You can look good and eat well too. You just have to take proper care of yourself. Don't let those who have it all bother you. You have the right to be good. Just use what you have and look good. You don't need to steal to look good. You are already perfect the way you are. All you have to do is take care of yourself both mentally and physically. You've got the power to.🤗

10) God First: The best is always saved for the lost. Above all my tips, this is the most essential tip and lesson of all. For you to be able to achieve all these, you need God. Have you said a prayer today? Have you read a Bible verse today? You need to. He is the greatest guide you need right now! Don't let the whole situation in the globe make you forget your Creator. Have your quiet time with Him and converse. He will help you achieve everything you need to achieve. So ensure you get him involved in your life today.🌹

So friends, here you have it. My Top 20 Lockdown Tips!! I hope you enjoyed every bit of it because I did. It reminded me of some of my encounters during this lockdown and I can say that I am getting used to it because my tips are guiding me🤭 If you didn't see the first 10 tips, check out my previous post and enjoy them. Like, comment and share as we would be able to reach out to a whole lot of people with these.

Thank you, friends. Have a lovely day.❣️