MY UNTOLD STORY

Hollywood movies, Nollywood movies and Bollywood movies hide certain truths from us. Especially when it comes to love and it's substance. Have you been fooled by the fairytales you see? How Ada, the poor little girl gets married to a prince with little or no troubles at all? Or how Krishna is arranged to marry Raj and eventually they fall in love? Or how Taylor falls in love with Alex after they must have fought all the time?

Well, let's read Simi's story and hear her thoughts on relationship. And I would be glad if you share your thoughts in the comment section below❤️

"Relationships are so untrue. I mean how can one find perfection and true love in a relationship. Well, I am so unlucky in relationships and here is why. My name is Simi and this is my story...

It all started in 2018. I got talking with a senior colleague of mine in school. His name is Dayo. Our bond grew from just being friends to something more deeper. He approached me one day and told me that he wants to be my close friend. He said he really likes my kind of person and wants us to grow our bond and friendship together. Without hesitation, I gave Dayo a yes as an answer. Little did I know that his motive was to get me to bed with him. 

As our relationship grew, days, weeks and months passed and he noticed I wasn't ready to be sexually intimated with him as he thought. Although our love grew deeper each passing day, Dayo threatened to live me if I didn't give in to him. One day, I summoned up courage and agreed. This went on for quite some time then I said to myself that I was going to put a stop to this. 

Little did I know that as people's faces are different so are their problems. I started noticing some abnormal urinalysis almost more often than usual. Unknown to my parents, I secretly started self medication and no one knew what I was going through. This continued for a while until my mum discovered I was fighting an infection.  

Now listen to me. Dayo left me without a word or anything to hold on to. My parents took the responsibility of everything about my health. I took five different tests in five different hospitals. As all these were going on, I told myself that it was my fate to suffer. I mean, see the damage I got myself into because of the fear of losing a friend. This led to me battling UTI(Urinary Tract Infection) for close to a year. It got worse as I grew a mould inside my body. I was so devasted. No amount of tear would restore my previous life back to me. I even had to go for X-ray examination to find out the problem. It was futile as nothing was there. But I was still in pains.

Then a day came that my mom sat me down to speak to me. She began softly, "Simisola, have you seen the damage you have brought upon yourself? Your friend, who caused this, is there living life not thinking about you. But who bears the pain? You, of course!" At that moment, I took a decision not to ever indulge in anything that will tarnish my reputation and to my health. We finally broke up and went our separate ways. This happened some weeks after my birthday in the year 2019.

In December 2019, I met Fred. I thought we could just be friends with no strings attached. I discovered later that he actually wanted a taste of me. Before I met Fred, I had confided on a good friend of mine about him and she said he was a nice guy. When we finally met, I can remember we only cuddled, pecked and held hands together. We even had intimate discussions on several issues. 

In one of our chats, he said that this relationship was not going to last i.e. if there will even be any. It sounds funny, right? I mean a break up before a date. Wow! So unlucky! He ended our friendship with the words that he was still in love with his ex. I was so embarrassed and felt really terrible. That evening, I didn't know what to do. So I ended up crying my eyes out in my room as a form consolation. 

I decided not to go into any relationship for the mean time. I mean, I need to work on myself, right? Also have develop my relationship with God and get concentrate on my books again. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted my sanity back in check and pursue my dreams wholeheartedly since it seemed nothing was working for me.

*  *  *  *

The new year came. January 2020. I was at a conference where I met Carson. He was friendly. So, we got talking and exchanged numbers. We became close but just as friends. Two months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I gave him NO! But he kept insisting. He said it would bring us closer to each other. He told me that he strongly believed in my dreams and he was ready to give me all the support I need. I finally accepted to be his girl stating that we will not be sexually intimated. I realized later this was the worst thing I had done. Becoming his girlfriend! Carson noticed I was serious about the sex aspect and began to neglect me. He showed no care for me. But all along, I wasn't aware that sex was all he wanted. I showed him so much care just the way any young girl with good upbringing would. 

Then, a day came that he fell sick. His ill health was as a result of the weather. So, I went to see him in the hospital. I checked up on him and ensured I didn't complain about anything as I had a lot on my mind. As soon as he recovered, he stated that we needed a break. He confessed to me that he has a 3year old child somewhere. I was in complete shock. So, we broke up. Yes, the love of my life, the one I thought was meant for me, broke up with me! And it still hurts.

 

This life has taught me lessons. One important one was this: Whatever had happened, had to happen so that we can learn from it. I have learnt my mistakes. It's true that I help people get over things like this. I even give them courage but then what happens to me? I am human too. I need the encouragement and assurance too. 

But well, I guess I have made my choice. I do not want to be in a relationship with any man anymore. I'm done. I'm totally fed up. This thing called relationship is not for me.

So, I will just stay on my own."

"P.S. Do not judge me!💔

Is this story relatable? Have you ever been in Simi's shoes? Do you think relationships sucks? 

Do share your thoughts in the comment section.😊

Thank you.

With Love, Adaora❤️

My Top 20 Lockdown Tips (Part 2)

Hey friends. How are you doing? Is the Lockdown still on or it has been released in your state/country? Well, we all hope it releases soon. 

By the way, how has the previous lockdown tips I shared helped you? I would really love to know. Was it helpful or difficult to achieve. Let me know in the comment section.

Today, I will be dropping the last part of my favorite lockdown tips. Here it goes:

1) Too many talks ain't necessary: "Too many talks? I don't get." In my last post, I talked about no time to waste. This is it. Are you the kind of person who likes to talk and just keep talking about all the plans you have for yourself and your future or the next you plan to do, this is not really necessary. You end up making plans and never do them. Every single day, you wake up and begin to say, "I will do this... I will do that." Aren't you tired of the stagnancy? Don't you want to move? Stop making plans if you don't want to move. You are only wasting your time and aging everyday. Be a doer and not a talker. Action speaks louder than voice, remember? So what are you waiting for? Suspend that talk for now, let's get into action. We ain't got time for talks😅

2) Mind your Business: This is one of the crucial tips we all need. You tend to forget or ignore what you are supposed to do and end up sitting and listening to issues or gists of your neighbors. You even begin to point their own mistakes and forget you got yours too. You see your friends doing exceedingly well, you cringe and become bitter. You gossip about their lives and how they live. You are not okay unless you talk about Dara who got pregnant after a rape incident or Dare who got a job as a gateman while your dodo is burning. You had better go turn them. We are no longer in the time where all you do is sit and talk about people's lives all day long. The people you are talking about are moving and you are just stagnant. Come off it and keep shut. Start drinking water and minding your business so that your life can become a good gossip in the mouths of others😄 All I am trying to say is quit the bad habit and begin to work on your own yourself.

3) Your Mental Health Matters: Are you in deep thoughts about an issue which causes you to worry? Have you experienced anything bad that has changed your paradigm and caused you to live in fear? Hey, I'm here. Take a deep breath and quit the thoughts and fear. You are only affecting your mental state and it is no good for your health. What you let into your mind, takes a greater part of your well-being. So "guide your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life." Now, in the aforementioned Bible verse, let's replace the heart with the mind. "guide your mind with all diligence.." for it controls the issues of life. I have rephrased it to suit this talk. Your mind should simply be taken care of the same way you would take care of your body. Take a walk in the park, dance under the rain, visit a friend, read a book, watch a movie, go the the eatery and so much more. These things help in building the mind. So, try not to worry about anything, okay?😘

4) Add value: This controls so many aspects of life. But I would be looking at the aspect of money making. Everyday, we are all bent on making money, by all means. We want to handle a task or a do a job all for the money. We forget to add value to that organization or task we are to do. 

Now let's pause, what does it mean to add value?

Value is the quality that renders something desirable or valuable. The quality here could be positive or negative. We will look at the positive value. When you are told to handle a task, try to put your whole into it. Ensure you overpromise and overdeliver. Give our your best. I am not saying you should not go for your money. But the moment your value is more than the money itself, your clients are ready to pay more. Desire to change lives and mindsets with your value and gifts, money will surely follow.🔥🔥 

5) Love surpasses all: This period, there are a lot of things to cause hates and quarrels. Relationships broken and damaged, friends turn enemies and more. But take a deep breath and show some love. 

Let's ignore the aspect of relationship, hatred and all. We have a bigger task at hand. Most families lack what to eat, drink, wear and more. Have you helped someone today? Get up. You have something you could give them. No matter how small, it will mean a whole lot to them. When trying to show them some love, don't embarrass them before doing so. If you fond of announcing to everyone about how you helped someone, you are only being a hypocrite and making them (the people you helped) feel bad. Don't let your left hand know what you right hand gives out. Show love selflessly. That is what it is all about.❤️

6) Journaling: Do you have a journal? Do you write down and keep records of things? A journal is a book you use to record daily or weekly activities of your life. Do you have one? You don't? Why? You should have! A journal helps you remember a lot of things and makes you smile or laugh when you go back to them. It could be an exercise journal, gratitude journal, diary, date journal, art journal...just name it. Keeping a journal is healthy and fun. It makes activities for you easy and creative. I've got a bunch of journals for so many things: quotes, to-do list, poetry, stories, e.t.c And I would say that when I go back to most of them, it puts a smile on my face and reminds me of how great I am. So, why not try some journaling today? You would love it, I bet!😏😘

7) Be grateful: Have you said a word of thanks today? Are you thankful or grateful about something or someone today? Or are you busy grumbling and complaining? Hey, take a chill pill and drink some water. Your life is enough reason to be grateful. Be thankful to God for that. Your friend just got a job and you didn't, be grateful. Your paycheck is not as large as your colleague's own but you get paid, be grateful. There are a million and one things to be grateful for. You just have to sit and think about them. Count your blessings and begin to show gratitude. Gratitude will shift you to a higher frequency and you will attract better things. Gratitude helps you to grow and expand. It causes you to dwell in happiness and peace and that is the greatest gift one can have. So, be grateful today! It is necessary for you.🤲

8) Be happy: Are you worried about something or are you scared about something? Are you sad about the loss of someone or did you you just lose a job? It is sad and I know. Many a times, we are told to put on a smile on our faces and forget all of our worries. It is difficult, right? Now let's take a deep look into your life. Can you remember that time when you graduated from primary school and some of your friends died along the way? You got into secondary school and this same thing happened, yet you survived? It's the exact same thing in the University and you are here today hale and hearty? Even if you didn't get it your desired destination, is this not enough reason to be happy and grateful too? Happiness can not be bought with any amount of money. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. So why not be happy? You should choose for yourself whether you should remain in worry and sadness or get up and begin to smile like you won a lottery😅 You choose.

9) Take care of yourself: This is very important. Have you had a good meal today? Have you had a bath today? Are you moved by how the Regina Daniel's skin glitters and yours doesn't? Are you worried about how Diana Eneje eats good meals and you only have Garri and sugar to eat? Forget them. You can look good and eat well too. You just have to take proper care of yourself. Don't let those who have it all bother you. You have the right to be good. Just use what you have and look good. You don't need to steal to look good. You are already perfect the way you are. All you have to do is take care of yourself both mentally and physically. You've got the power to.🤗

10) God First: The best is always saved for the lost. Above all my tips, this is the most essential tip and lesson of all. For you to be able to achieve all these, you need God. Have you said a prayer today? Have you read a Bible verse today? You need to. He is the greatest guide you need right now! Don't let the whole situation in the globe make you forget your Creator. Have your quiet time with Him and converse. He will help you achieve everything you need to achieve. So ensure you get him involved in your life today.🌹

So friends, here you have it. My Top 20 Lockdown Tips!! I hope you enjoyed every bit of it because I did. It reminded me of some of my encounters during this lockdown and I can say that I am getting used to it because my tips are guiding me🤭 If you didn't see the first 10 tips, check out my previous post and enjoy them. Like, comment and share as we would be able to reach out to a whole lot of people with these.

Thank you, friends. Have a lovely day.❣️

My Top 20 Lockdown Tips (Part 1)

Hello Friends. It's been a long while I had dropped something here for you. 2 months, I guess. I can't even put my finger on why the absence but everything is resolved. I missed you all so much and I even missed myself.🤭 

As a result of my absence, I decided to drop a gift for you.😍 Did I hear you say "Awwwn"? Yeah, I did.😄 So this is it. We have been locked down as a result of the corona virus pandemic which affected the economy, world wide. A lot has happened during this period as we had to #stayathome and #quarantine ourselves. During this period, I got about 20 lessons or tips which could help you go a long way during the post pandemic period and beyond. These lessons are guides as well and have built me. So I will like to share them with you and I hope you find comfort and solace as you go through them. 

Get a pen and a journal, if you can.📝😊 I have mine here too🤭

TOP 20 LOCKDOWN TIPS

 1) Make your home your paradise: A lot of us are fed up with the Lockdown and stay-at-home process. It's very normal. The poor finances, the boredom, the loneliness and all that comes with it is frustrating. But have you ever thought of making it the beautiful serene environment you desire? I mean, you want ice cream? Watch some YouTube videos and make one. You want a space or time of your own? Create a timetable and make a space for your "me-time". I do have a timetable I follow and it makes my work easier for me. Try to get one for yourself. Do with what you have at home and turn it into your heaven. Think about it.

2) Daily Affirmation: In the book, "Psychology of Selling" by Brian Tracy, he emphaszied on talking to yourself. He said that it is like pumping yourself. He further gives an action which I noted. "As you wake up and get up from bed, begin to talk to yourself by saying, "I like myself... Saying this with belief and feeling is accepted by your subconscious mind." This is how powerful positive affirmation is. Personally, I have an alarm for positive affirmation.🤭 Oops! Did I say that out loud? Well, yeah. It's true. Before I do anything for the day, I walk up to the mirror and begin to say positive things like "I am great!", "I am beautiful!", "I am a successful entrepreneur..." and the list goes on. If you do this constantly, you begin to see yourself in a different light. No matter how bad your day is, you will always remember you are enough. So quit, listening to negative thoughts about you and begin to tell yourself otherwise. You are an amazing person, okay?🌹

3) The true definition of Family: Although this lockdown placed a hold on all your social activities, it did one good thing. We are reconnected back to our first family. I know the family house is not a safe haven for us all. The dramas, hate, disunity and all starts in our homes. This makes most people hate going home. Very fustrating. To be honest, I feel like that sometimes. The truth is this: Family is not just people related to you by blood anymore. Family are the ones who care about you, who check up on you, who correct you with love, laugh and share your sorrow with you. They protect you and pray for you. This is your family. So cherish them and keep them close for they are irreplaceable.💖

4) Books are necessary: I can't believe I am the one saying this.😂 I know how difficult it was for me to pick up a book when bored. I rather sleep. Ever since this lockdown started, I learnt it. The frustration and boredom gave me no choice. I purchased some e-books and began to read. And honestly, it has been an amazing journey. Books keep you informed. It also helps in vocabulary development. I love new words and books me on the track to get them. Try reading. Add it to your monthly goals and ensure you follow it up. You can read a book or two for a month. Luckily, technology has made it easier. You can get an e-book like me. Get on any topic at all and study. You will be glad you did.🤭

5) Be creative and innovative: This is one of my favorite tips. Creativity is simply a unique form of art. And graciously, we are all unique. So definitely, we are all entitled to creativity. 

There is an upcycler I know of. He creates beautiful sets of art works using waste products such as papers and bottles with the aim of saving earth and reducing wastes. Out of these things, he turns them to flower vases, hats, key holders e.t.c. When you see these products you wouldn't know they are made from such waste. Mind-blowing, right? You can check him out on IG @jedomite 

Have you heard of Besties Pancake? A breakfast and brunch outlet situated in Calabar. They make mouth watering pancakes with amazing toppings such as honey, peanut butter, jam, e.t.c Such creativity🔥😋🤤 It is not your regular kind of pancakes. You would need to try them.😋 Check them out on IG and FB @bestiespancak. You can place your order for two. Yourself and I😂

The point is this. If you want to start up something, try not to do the regular. People want something new. Do not overdo it but try to add your creativity inside. If you cook noodles the regular way, people will get tired of that taste. Add some spices and make it unique. Let it depict how different you are.😊 

6) Be alert and vigilant: There is no better way of staying safe other than being alert. Alert, here is information and being informed saves life. There used to be a time when I do not like to watch news. News to me is so boring cause each time I turned it on, all I see is politics. But I found a better way to  stay alert by reading blogs on my phone which is much more easier. So, I recommend this art of staying alert to all those who dislike watching the news just like I do. It keeps you updated and informed. Blogs such as: Instablog, LindaIkeji and the rest. You can try them.😄

7) Success requires rebellion: Did I just say rebellion? Yes, rebellion. Rebellion means to go against and this portrays a negative attitude. But to be succesful, you need it. 

Most times, we tend to grow up following the orders of our guardians and fulilling their wishes and dreams in line with our career. But unfortunately, It is not what we want. You want to be a dancer but you are told to be a lawyer; a Public Speaker but you are told to be a Pastor...the list goes on. You are not given a chance to say your thoughts on it. You are just meant to follow order. Are you not tired? You have to begin to follow your passion. The world is in need of that art that you possess. Don't let "Yes, Ma/Sir" stop you from following your passion. Be rebellious about it. Be stubborn. Once they begin to see the results, they will come around. By the way, this is not a call to be violent or disobedient but a call to follow your dreams and passion. Do it fearlessly and shamelessly.🔥

8) There is no time: Look at your wristwatch. The clock is ticking. What does that tell you? Time is moving fast. It is not waiting for you or anyone. Whatever you want to achieve, you've go to do that now. Stop procrastinating. You want to ace your exams? Start reading now! You want to travel next week? Start packing your bags? You want to become an entrepreneur? Start drawing up your plans! The list goes on. There is really no time. So, just start. Don't let lack of no capital stop you from doing that. Look for means to start it up. Consistency and persistency will definitely pay off.

The clock is ticking. Tick Tock...🕐

9) You are the only one that can stop you: From the two stated above, you can say that the journey to success is definitely your drive. I had seen this quote at Besties Pancake outlet and it left a striking effect on me. I read it over and over again. At that stage of my life, I began to realize that most of the things I wanted to do, I had stopped myself through laziness, procrastination, fear and all. I always held myself back from doing what I knew I had to do. It has never been anyone's fault. Others just gave opinions and orders which made me stop. I had to drop those thoughts and begin to act upon what I want and not what they thought or opined.

Here is the point: It is truly up to you to decide to do something about your situation or not. No one will do it for you. You have to believe that. So choose because it is only you that can stop you.📝

10) Mentorship, Coaching and Accountability Partnership: This is one vital part of every successful person you know. On the journey to fulfilling your dreams and passion, you need a guide. It makes it easier for you and you would get to your destination faster. 

Have you been to a zoo? As you get in, you are always introduced to a tour guide. His purpose is usually to show you around and guide you through each sections in the zoo so that you will not get lost. This is exact what you need in life. Now, let's take a look at the three.

A mentor is a wise and trusted counsellor or teacher whose job is to guide you in most areas of your life. A Coach is an instructor or trainer. He/she trains you to becoming what you desire. You do not have a choice. You have just have to listen to his/her instructions and attend his/her trainings. It is for your good. An accountability partner is like your study mate. You both help each other to achieve goals. In simple tems, you are accountable to each other. 

With these few definitions, I have given you an idea of what guidance is all about. So, the question is this: Why don't you get a guide today? 🚶

Wow!! It is really lengthy but worth it and I am sure you can testify to that. I have given ten lockdown tips and I hope you really enjoyed it. I will be dropping the remaining ten soon. So stay tuned as it is going to draw curtains to the Month of May.💖

Feel free to drop your questions in the comment section. I will be available to answer.😊

A poetic letter to March.

Dear March, 

  I greet you in solidarity. I waited patiently and calmly for your freezing knock. Now you're here. Come make our paths wet with the dew from the heavens. Dry us off our heat and cause our skin to shiver and cringe of cold. It should not be too much to handle but little that we may be able to stick out our tongues and drink the water from the skies. 

  We do not ask for much but enough to make us smile and sleep peacefully. We are done lying naked on our beds and still having glittering salty waters formed in droplets spread across our skin. Also, having sleepless nights and straining our hands to reduce the temperature. We are tired.

  In conclusion, you're here. So, be cool and good to us.  

All these is what we ask for. 

  Thank you.🌷 

                                    Signed,

                                Adaora's World.💖

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

Hey guys. I know how hot, weak and tired you must have been these past two months. Sleepless nights, hot sun, weariness and all. I extend my sincere concern by sympathizing with you. Well, I have already spoken to March and I am sure this month will be different. Get ready to take a dance in the rain and smile. Get clothed as the days of naked nights are over. Surely, your days will be cool and bright and nights, filled with peace.🤗

Happy New Month, Family.❣️

Have a lovely evening.❤️

Love from Ada🤭

This Season...

Welcome back to my world, family ❣️ I know I have stayed from you all for 12days since I posted last. I wish you guys were with me to see what has been happening... School took a whole lot of me.😢 But anyway, I can't forget you guys.You mean a lot to me.💓 Today, I won't be posting a poem or fiction. I just want to use this medium to express my gratitude to you for all the times you have been there for me. My progress, success, failures and all has been as a result of the times we shared. And the emotional curtain has been drawn now...🤫🧖

Years back, I have locked myself up in my own world, not letting anyone in. Always in the midst of the crowd but never really there. My mind spiralizing in frozen crystals. The journey of a thousand steps started only in my head. I was static and alone. This made me feel less of myself and all of that. But I never opened up until one day. I opened the Bible and read 1st Corinthians 13. The page and chapter of love. The description was mesmerizing and enticing. I wanted to feel this love and I yearned for it every second. I tried to mingle with people but it was all in vain. It was during this search that I found true love in the most unexpected place. I found The One who really loved me. I couldn't fathom this love but it was there. So much it had to offer. I was speechless. I finally gave up everything for it. It was Christ's love. The unconditional. The refreshing and mind blowing. I became a new being. And till date, I still remain in Him.

This little story of mine created a history for me and many others who experienced and are still experiencing the same. The beauty of this love is powerful. It moves in full but calm speed. It softens and forms the heart we share today. It is a great treasure and all who have this feel safe. This brings about the season of love. Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is one day where love is being spread all round the world and used to bring back happy memories of the old just to be happy. I have a lot of them and I am glad to have you all as a part of these memories. You all mean a lot to me and beyond. You're one of my greatest family. And I will like you all to share this love around your vicinity and environment. Show love to all and sundry. Make someone's heart smile. This is the most important duty of the day. So keep sharing the love and I will do the same. 

I've got to go.😚 Have a lovely day and weekend.

Ada loves you🤗😍

I thought...

Hey dear! Sorry for being away for too long. I had to get back on track in diverse areas. And somehow, it seems like I forgot my blog😢 

Well, good news. I am back and fully charged to dish out my world in bits...🤗

We are in the month of February... The month of love. So we will be dealing with poems and fictions related to all forms of love. 

Bonus: You have a chance to decide what we should post. So let's get started...😍😍

Today's is that of a broken heart. And I hope you enjoy it.

Now let me ask you. Have you ever been in a state of brokeness that you lose yourself and eventually find out too late that you could have reversed it? Are you still lost in your world that you forget how the outer world looks? Here is a piece which reveals these things. Tell me what you think. Your comments are welcomed 😘

I thought...

I've been submerged for too long

In this waters of guilt.

I don't even know myself anymore

Because I have lived for you.

I thought I was wise.

Believed my intelligence was twice.

Twice of the ordinary,

Twice of the physical.

In you, I entrusted my deepest secrets.

It was like only you could interpret them.

I lost myself,

Lived as someone else.

Betrayed my mind,

Worked with my heart,

Now left in torn pieces.

I'm still awestruck.

More like I have been hit with a truck.

I thought I still had that luck,

The one which gave me the hope to live longer.

Maybe I don't.

Maybe I do.

I don't even know my stand

Nor my roots in truth.

I'm just lost in my world

Which I thought was our world.

The one we shared together.

I thought you would hold me,

I thought you would scold me.

I thought you knew me,

The things I can do and not.

What's different?

Why the attitude?

You are so cold that I can't comprehend.

Your unpredictable nature makes me shiver.

But still I fear to lose you.

To start all over again.

I fear to search for a new home.

When in you, my bed lies.

I thought it's forever.

I really thought so.

But I guess...I can't control fate.

When you are in control.

Burn out

Hello everyone!! It's been a while since I posted last. I haven't even wished you all a happy new year. Sorry about that. Well, we have had 10days of the new year already and I am sure so many of you still struggling to live differently from the last decade. You just got to do things differently. Take out the "trash" from your life and burn them all out.. It is not too late. Do it now!!

As you do so, check out this scribbled poem of mine "Burn out" and tell me what you think. Happy New year!!!

Burn out

That year has drawn it's veil.

But am I ready for the new?

Still living in the rubbish of yesterday,

I doubt my readiness.

I had lived a life without plans.

Without direction and discretion,

Fond of pleasing in prison,

Timeless and aimless,

Caressing burdens and regrets,

But never had it changed.

Now I can't dwell in these anymore.

Down the streets, I hear.

"What are your goals?"

"Your vision?"

"Your mission?"

"Any Resolution?"

In order not to be left behind,

I make mine but...

All are left untouched and unfulfilled.

Dashed back to square one,

Stagnancy appears,

The spirit of "whatever will be, will be" sets in.

But I can't take it.

Just like old clothes,

My life is sorted...

Taking all the trash out,

Setting them on fire.

Now watching them burn in that furnace,

All I see is wasted time and setbacks,

Smoke of regrets go up into the air,

Leaving me with the ashes of yesterday.

And my lips can only form the words..

"Farewell" as I stare.